H is for Hiatus

Life. It's stupidly simple while hopelessly complicated all at the same time. Every once in a while I have these moments of lucidity, where everything crystalizes in a brief moment of clarity. When these moments happen I realize…I am a big, fat idiot.

Am I being too harsh on myself? Yes. I also don't want to negate the fact that I have neglected this blog and it's intended purpose. This page was meant for expression, experimentation, education, nouns. So why hasn't that happened? Why the delay? Why all of the rhetorical questions? Because, dear reader, that stupidly simple and hopelessly complicated thing called life happened. Life.

So, until I get my act together, I bring you another delicious recipe. Enjoy while I go fetal and contemplate the mysteries of life:

What You'll Need:

Goat Cheese (One patty equates to 40 C)

As much Mixed Greens as your greedy, little hear desires (2 Cups is about 70 Calories)

Sliced Beets (29.2 C)

1/4 Cup Trader Joe's Panko Breadcrumbs (16.2 C)

1/4 Egg Whites (31.6 C)

Sprinkle of Smokehouse Chopped Almonds (40 C)

3/4 Cup Coldwater Salad Shrimp (80 C)

2 Tbsp Trader Joe's Champaign Salad Dressing (150 C)

Serves: 1 Person

Total Calories: 382.7

Today, we'll start by thawing the baby shrimps. Since the Coldwater Salad Shrimp is already cooked, the fist thing to do is defrost it. You can do this by placing the shrimp in a colander and rinsing under warm water. Should take no longer than a minute. Place in a paper towel and rest while you make your Goat Cheese patties.

The Goat Cheese patties are messy to make but fun to eat! Be careful not to salivate all over your keyboard. Grab about a Tablespoon of goat cheese - you can buy a log of it at Trader Joe's. Form it into a patty and dip it first in egg whites. Next, dip it in the Panko Breadcrumbs (they should stick to the patty. If not then I cannot help you. You're smart, you figure it out). Place on the stomach of a well oiled, well toned man until golden brown on either side. If you are fresh out of Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling, a pan on the stove will do (albeit the process will not be nearly as fun). Set the stovetop to Medium. Keep a close eye on these patties; the Panko Breadcrumbs brown very fast.

Hey, girl. Need to grate some cheese? You can use my abs if you'd like.

But really, these goat cheese patties are the greatest thing to put on your salad. It's warm, gooey deliciousness and I don't want to eat cheese on a salad in any other form from now on.

Zomg stahp!

Go ahead and chop the beet (I'm a genius), put it in with the salad, toss in those almonds with the baby shrimp and drizzle on that Champaign dressing. Add the patty right on the top, do the hokey pokey, hey Macarena, and boom! You've got yourself a pretty tasty salad.

Eat, enjoy, verbs.

Cheers,

Kay