Nutella is Love...Nutella is Life

Have a dinner party to go to? Want to impress your family this holiday season with a non-traditional dessert? Is it another Friday night with wine and Netflix and you want a little somethin' somethin' on the side? Then here's a low maintenance cheesecake recipe that will knock you on your butt.

Behold:

Unnnng

What You'll Need:

1&1/4 C graham cracker crumbs

5 Tbsp softened unsalted butter

3/4 C chopped toasted hazelnuts

1 13 Oz jar of Nutella

1 lb of Cream Cheese (or light whipped cream cheese if you don't want it as dense)

1/2 C powdered sugar (sifted)

9 inch diameter pie pan

Serves: 1 you, if you're brave enough

Calories: Ha...ha...haha....HAHAHAHAHAHA

First you're going to start with the crust. Take the graham cracker crumbs (or, use 10oz of regular honey graham crackers), butter and 3 tbsp of chopped hazelnuts to blend in a processor until you have a damp, sandy texture. Add 1 tbsp of Nutella to the mix for good measure. Next, pat the crap out of that delicious crust into your pie pan; you can use the back of a large spoon to help. Place that in the refrigerator to chill.

For the pie, place the cream cheese into a large mixing bowl and add the powdered sugar. Mix with beater until combined. Add the remaining jar of Nutella and continue mixing. Note: don't worry if you see small chunks of cream cheese not mixing in with the Nutella, it will all get absorbed while it's chilling in the refrigerator overnight. 

Once you've got the pie part, dump that into your pie pan and smooth over. Sprinkle the remaining hazelnuts onto the top of the pie and leave in the fridge overnight. Annnnnnd that's it. Simple, huh? Now time to patiently wait until the next day and-SCREW IT EAT IT NOW! No...no...we're civilized here. We can do it. Just go back to your Netflix and Red Moscato and let this all blow over.

Happy baking!

Kay

Old Hats: An In Depth Review

When I was about three-years-old, Bill Irwin and David Shiner teamed up for their world premier of Full Moon. In just 25 performances, they made audiences roar with laughter at their ingenuity and sharp physical comedy. Featuring The Red Clay Ramblers, this production was filled to the brim with classic slap-stick schticks as well as some very impressive clowning and miming.

In a world where the performing arts is becoming less appreciated as a critical necessity in our socio-economic society, Bill and David set out to bring back the classics and prove that you can "teach an old dog new tricks".

On Wednesday, September 17th, I had the privilege of seeing these two perform in the opening night of Old Hats. This time around, they managed to make a potent statement about the anxieties of modern society. For example, in the act entitled "The Business Man", Bill is seen using a smartphone, ipad, and large projector to interact with a virtual David. In another act entitled "The Debate", we see Bill and David dressed as sleazy politicians doing everything and anything to get a leg-up on their competing candidate (sound familiar, voters?). These pieces paired with audience interaction and Bill in drag made for one unforgettable night.

Just look how sexy!

Assisting them, and providing musical breaks, was singer and song-writer Shaina Taub. With songs like "Make a Mess", "You Undo Me" and "The Reminder Song", Taub brought a poetic and hilarious element to the show. Her lyrics were nothing short of genius with a charismatic stage-presence to boot. Saying that Shaina had one of the most impressive voices I've ever heard is an understatement. She made an excellent impression on the show.

Bill Irwin and David Shiner are two of the most visionary clowns in this or any decade. They have withstood the test of time and made vaudeville relatable for all generations. With their combined efforts, they managed to make Old Hats magical. I laughed until I cried and then I cried some more!

Old Hats will be playing through until October 12th at the ACT in San Francisco. Performances are2 hours long with a 15 minutes intermission. For more information on the show and location, click HERE.

Stay classy, boys

Shout out to Jim Houghton, founder of Tony Award winning, Signature Theatre. It was nice to see you again!

Cheers,
Kay

Insights into the Minds of San Francisco's Best Startups

Last week I checked out NewCo. San Francisco, a two-day event that gives you behind-the-scenes access to top executives, entrepreneurs, investors and future influencers at their headquarters. After a couple of days of hustling around the bay area, I was left with some useful insight from the minds of San Francisco’s most powerful startups:

Matt Mahan, founder and CEO of Brigade, spoke about the concept of creating the perfect political-based forum. He said that the two biggest challenges when it comes to politics are the issues of educating the population and cynicism. His vision with Brigade is to be the solution to those challenges and to break down the preconceived notion that “my participation doesn’t matter” when it comes to communicating with elected officials. Six months from now, Mahan plans to launch the Brigade app on all forms of smart technology as well as on a regular desktop platform.

StumbleUpon founders Garret Camp and Geoff Smith shook the business world back in 2009 when they did the unthinkable – bought their company back from eBay after its acquisition in 2007. Since then, StumbleUpon has been a force to reckon with, making savvy investments like its recent acquisition of web video concierge 5By last year. Current CEO Mark Bartels spoke about creating the perfect user experience when it comes to original and creative content. He noted that though many people believe that content is key to reaching the user; the platform is the true key. Using Netflix as an example, he noted that you can control the audience by being a place where people can find great content. StumbleUpon hopes to achieve this sort of user reputation.

If you want to learn how to code or hear a thought-leader speak about technology, General Assembly is the place to go. General Assembly invited Rob Young, principal designer and founder of Young & Co, to speak at NewCo. He highlighted Dieter Ram’s “10 Principles of Design,” which says that good user experience must solve a problem, be as simple as possible and be delightful. He went on to say that a programmer should be curious, a good communicator and articulate with your ideas. Lastly, he said it is imperative that designers be empathetic to their users and get creative. You find out more about seminars featuring thought leaders like Rob Young by checking out General Assembly online.

Attending the NewCo. San Francisco festival was a rare learning opportunity. On top of meeting some of the start-up world’s most influential leaders, I developed an understanding of each company’s “process” that they tribute to their success. I learned the ins and outs of design, what it takes to create a need in the marketplace and the importance of credible content curation. These think leaders were not just excited about their products, but were excited about sharing their knowledge. You can find out about NewCo. Festivals near you by visiting their website online.

You can check out my original published article HERE.
Be sure to follow Press Kitchen for more insider scoops into the tech world on Twitter @PressKitchenSF

Cheers,
Kay

My Own Fairytale: An In Depth Review

John Cleese, co-founder of the genius comedy group Monty Python, breaks down the creative process into five categories: space, time, time (again), confidence, and humor. He explains how confidence is such a crucial part of opening your mind to creativity. He says, "[…] the best way to get the confidence to do that is to know that while you're being creative, nothing is wrong. There's no such thing as a mistake, and any drivel may lead to the break-through."

Since watching this seminar, I truly believed in this concept. Thomas Edison once said, "I did not fail to make the lightbulb 1,000 times. I simply found 1,000 ways how not to make a lightbulb." It is this approach that has inspired some of the greatest minds, inventors and creators the world has ever known. However, what went through my mind as I endured Leslie Noel's "My Own Fairytale" at Freight and Savage in Berkeley, California did I actually think wrong wrong wrong wrong oh my god so wrong I can't even make it stop.

"My Own Fairytale" is an autobiographical musical about a woman who has hopes of finding true love. As a girl, she is swept away by the advances of a boy she met at school. With high hopes of "happily ever after" she marries this same boy only to be met with physical and emotional domestic abuse. After surviving her first marriage, she believed to have found hope in her next relationship. Once again she is mistreated and, cruelly, raped by her lover. The play continues in this fashion; meeting new men, being taken advantage of, and making empty promises of becoming an independent, strong woman. Over time she finds value through her friends, reconciles with her estranged father, and overcomes adversity by - you guessed it - promising to be a strong, indented woman. The story ends where Leslie is now in her life: confident, single and ready to mingle.

In the event that you see this production and start to experience emotional and psychical trauma, the following are the necessary precautions I took to maintain my sanity:
1. Go fetal
2. Try not to cry
3. Cry a lot

"My Own Fairytale" quickly turned into "My Own Personal Circle of Hell". Before I go any further, I have this to say: I have the utmost respect for theatre. When I go to the theatre, I am going to church. It is my sanctuary, my home, my dojo, my safe haven from the storm. Therefore my expectations are thus: to hear a voice that needs to be heard, be taken on a journey, share in a relatable experience, be entertained, and come out of it having gained a new perspective or learned something about my own humanity. This musical didn't even come close to these expectations.

The Music

You know the song just before the end of Act 1 in "Wicked" where Elphaba lays the groundwork for a major shift in her character? Well, every single song was "Defying Gravity". And if it wasn't a rock ballad, it was 5 seconds of poorly constructed dialogue or a lament about how woeful her life is. Towards the end, one of the male characters finally came out to sing. I was thrilled that there might actually be a new character perspective. Unfortunately, the song became a quixotic fantasy featuring the men of her past who had wronged her, coming back to apologize for their misogynistic ways.

If that wasn't bad enough, copious amounts of the melodies were stolen material. Songs like Defying Gravity, Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better, and Do You Hear The People Sing were used in the show. There was even a faint similarity between one of her songs and Lady Gaga's Born this Way. The cherry on top was that each song was at least two minutes too long. If Leslie shortened the length of her music, she could at least input more dialogue to salvage what little plot line there was. Which segues into...

The Story

Through clenched teeth, I sat in my chair taking swigs of my IPA while witnessing the lack of a story arch and next to no character development. The worst crime this show made was the statement it made about women in relationships. This character was just as naive and undeveloped as she was when she was a starry-eyed child with the moon on a string. The reason I had no empathy towards this character was that she continually proclaimed independence time and time again throughout the show. She defined herself by the relationships around her which destroyed her credibility making it hard to believe her when she was being sincere. It was the same old song and dance about a girl who was the victim of her "daddy" issues. I have never in my life experience a piece of theatre that was more self-centered than this show.

The Production

The most painful thing to watch was seeing an ensemble who's strengths were clearly not being utilized. It was obvious to me that they were not respected as artists who could contribute and were instead used as puppets in Leslie's "masterpiece". And the few moments they were used, the show displayed a glimmer of life. In a nutshell, this show was clearly trying to do too much with too little. Although the dance routines had some advanced material, the ensemble simply did not have the skill or technique to pull it off. I will commend them for attempting to use the dance routines to convey a message. But sometimes, you shouldn't create art just for the sake of creating "art".

The Hope

The only saving grace of this production was the efforts of the ensemble. Their dedication to the story, enthusiasm, and vocal talent (shout out to Kirsten Torkildson, the 2nd eldest Leslie) was admirable. My absolute only and favorite number was "Pretty Boy". The young dancer - we'll call him Charlie since he is rather young and I do not want to reveal his name publicly - knew what it truly meant to portray story through dance. His technique combined with the stunning harmonies of the cast made this one moment the most bearable song of the show. I would drop $35 again just to see that number, and that number alone.

In Conclusion

I really do wish Leslie the best. If Leslie wants this musical to see any kind of commercial success, she needs to let go of perception that every idea she has is a good one. I wouldn't say that the music was terrible, but there is a lot of room for improvement. Musicals needs just as much time and attention to plot and story telling as a straight play. The music is there to heighten the story, not BE the story.

All in all, I give the show 1.5 out of 5 stars. Next time, don't make me pay $35 if you're going to waste two hours of my life.

For more information on this play, please visit the "My Own Fairytale" page on Freight & Savage. There are currently no more showings of this musical.

Cheers,

Kay

What Happens When you Tweet a CEO?

I wrote a thing! You can see the article on Press Kitchen's website by clicking HERE.

A few months ago, I became inspired by celebrity #AskMeAnything campaigns. I believed it a great way for fans to interact with their favorite music, film and celebrity personals on Twitter. I decided to take it a step further through the Hashtag #AskACEO.

As a San Francisco native, I can’t turn a corner without hearing the words “startup”, “eco-friendly”, or “innovative”. Although the Silicon Valley is known to be the breeding ground for pushing the envelope, San Francisco has seen a large boom in entrepreneurial spirit for some time now. Bay Area seasoned professionals have been setting the trends in digital technology, design and green solutions for consumers.

With all of these startups sprouting out of the fertile economic soil that is the Bay Area, is there any room for new business to grow? How can one create success out of their passion without becoming white noise? Using the hashtag #AskaCEO, I’ve been able to ask the pros for some sound advice.

The following are a few questions I’ve asked to a variety of CEOs and business experts. If you are considering starting your own business, I would pay close attention.

Founded in 2006, POPSugar is a media outlet with a mission to connect women to new entertainment, products and experiences they’re most passionate about. Their CEO, Brian Sugar, had this to say:

  

Lori J. Yokiel is a motivational speaker, recruiter for The Platform Magazine, and successful blogger. She had this to say about learning from your past:

With their recent acquisition of an eight-figure investment, Philz Coffee has high hopes of continuing their expansion outside of the Bay Area. CEO Jacob Jaber is at the helm of this coffee chain. Here’s what Jacob had to say to young entrepreneurs:

He also went on to say, “[…] live from within and be yourself…don’t let the outside world determine your mission, gotta be from within.”

There you have it. Now go forth and grow! #AskACEO

Cheers,

Kay

Mad World

It's been a while, I know. With my production of Sweeney Todd and working full-time in PR, there hasn't been a moment where I could sit on my own time and write creatively. For weeks it was work, rehearsal, sleep. And maybe - just maybe - time with friends or family.

I thought a lot about what I would write when I returned to my blog. I thought about the direction I would like to take. With my blogs getting published at my new PR job in San Francisco, I thought I might just post them here (Getting paid to blog = score). Now that I've become more involved in the Bay Area theatre community, I thought I might transition into a review/critique writer.

But…

Today is different. Today, I'd like to talk about something completely different. Over the period of three months, we've seen a hailstorm of tragic news:

• The shooting of Michael Brown and the riot in St. Louis,
• ISIS making strides to destroy any traces of Christian faith in Pakastan with the murder of innocent men, women and children; and
• Robin Williams deciding to take his life

These events, like many others before them suffocate the media airwaves with conspiracy and extremist opinions. You can see evidence of side-taking all over the internet. Your friends, colleagues, family members, and even strangers take to their keyboards to make sense of the chaos. That teacher you respected is now making racist remarks about how Brown "deserved it" for being a thug. You're favorite aunt talks about Obama being a terrorist. That friend who you were close with is now belittling you for your "incompetent" stance on what's happening in Israel.

The worst part of it all - I spent so much time going over how I might contribute to the hoopla. Will I comment on people's reactions to FOX news anchor Shepard Smith's intension when speaking about Robin Williams suicide? Will I express my outrage over the community of St. Louis and their "taking advantage" of Brown's death through their destruction and looting? Will I share my true feelings about what is taking place with ISIS or Isreal?

No. No I will not. For a few different and very personal reasons. WARNING: these are completely opinion based. I'm not telling anyone to do anything, believe anything or putting anyone down. This is simply my stance on public sharing...

1. Freedom of Speech isn't Free: Although this seems like an overzealous statement, it has an inkling of truth. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What Sir Isaac Newton didn't realize when developing the three laws of motion, was that this would also pertain to human nature. If I were to post my real thoughts and feelings about certain social injustices to the web, I would be eaten alive. People would jump at the chance to take a jab at my morality, humanity, and integrity. I see internet comments like "kill yourself" or "you're retarded if you think that", and my heart sinks. Intolerance is the exact reason there is destructive conflict and cyber bullying today. So I choose to remain silent. I flip through the Facebook statuses suppressing my urge to speak up. Sometimes, my freedom to speak is just not worth it.

2. Appearances are everything: Okay this is a bit of a "hook" bullet but it's also true. I am very conscious of how I come across on the internet. Remember that picture someone took of you at a party and now posted it to Instagram? Yeah, that's not going anywhere. And when your crush, family members or even employers are scrolling through your profile, they're going to see it too. Not only that, but your activity is practically gold to marketing data miners tracking your every move. Did you know that Facebook conducted an emotion contagion study to manipulate the type of information you received on your feed? Everything on the Internet is permanent and traceable. So I have to ask myself, "If you saw someone else post this, what would you think?" And then I don't. Instead I post pictures of my camping trip and tag my friends at the bar if anything at all. Why? Because…

3. No matter what, I will become emotionally involved: Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to write this post completely unbiased? So many moments I had a person in mind that I wanted to berate for their misogynistic outlook. So many times did I want to go off on a tangent about something I saw someone write or post. People can be so frustrating, but they are also human. They have feelings, guts, chutzpah, spunk, and a little bit of sass. They are programmed to have passions, desires, and emotions. We have this intricate system of thinking all hardwired into our DNA. It's incredible! Aren't we awesome? Aren't we awful? Yes, we're both. We have the capacity to do such wonderful things. We can start philanthropies, donate to the poor, give a homeless man our last bit of cash and change the world for the better. We can also murder and kill. We can kick, bite, scratch, and hurt. We can yell, scream and bring a person to tears. We have so much potential for so many different things. So why choose negativity? What will bashing a host on FOX News do? How will belittling someone's opinion about the Middle East help change the world. It won't. Instead it will feed the media monster. So instead, I post links to interesting articles. Instead, I read informative books (PS: "I Am Malala" is AMAZEBALLS) and research topics I don't know much about. Instead, I educate myself vs. relying on everyone's Social Media bias to educate me.  Because I know that my emotional attachment to the poster or outlet will sway me into that way of thinking instead of having an opinion of my own.

NOTE: I am not saying that the process of sharing information is "bad". The whole point of the Internet and Social Media is to share information. We, as complex creatures, need to feel connected through some medium. But, sometimes we abuse this tool for our own indulgence. We become Internet monsters, red-faced and terrifying.

So I ask: what is the point of what you are posting? Who are you trying to reach? Who will it benefit? What good will it do? What harm will it do? How will this make you a better you?

Dare to be the best you

Dare to be inspiring

Dare to be courageous

Dare to be incredible

And keep being beautiful...

But when it comes to food porn or cat pics, POST AWAY!

Cheers,

Kay

If Blue is Warm Than What is Red?

I absolutely love foreign films. My first taste of foreign films was in my high school Italian class; we watched Bicycle Thieves, aka: Ladri di Biciclette. It is a film about a man surviving the economic harshness of post WWII. He goes searching for his stolen bicycle, an item with which he will lose his job without. His desperation only increases throughout the movie when his family slips closer to homelessness due to his inability to earn a living wage. The film is like stepping into a time machine, telling a story as old as time in a uniquely heartbreaking way. SPOILER ALERT: there is no happy ending. He does not get his job back. His fate comes full circle when he attempts to steal another man's bike and is arrested on the spot.

Since that movie, I have seen films about family dynamic, young love, the evils of fame, etc. Unfortunately these films, although memorable, are nameless faces to me now; I am not so good with titles. What attracts me to them in the first place is not only their unique production style, but their message. Most foreign films I've seen capture the raw truth of the human experience while we, as audience members, can indirectly experience that truth. In the U.S., our commercial cinema is so focused on running away from reality and idealizes the "American Dream". For me, I resonate more with a film that is impactful; a film with which I can step out of my subjective perspective of life and be open minded to characters I would otherwise never sympathize with. We can, as a western society, be too focused on romanticizing the truth because it is a better truth. Although they are entertaining box-office success year after year (I mean, come on! My favorite film is She's the Man), I prefer a movie that challenges me.

That being said, today I wanted to talk about Blue is the Warmest Color (aka: La Vie d'Adèle). Directed by Abdellatif Kechiche and Golden Globe Nominated for Best Foreign Film, Blue is the Warmest Color speaks to the idea of love. Most people view it as a testimony to sexuality; I see it as a statement of the basic human need for love. Adèle is a high school level student with an interest in becoming a teacher. After failed attempts at relationships both romantic and platonic, she finds comfort in the presence of Emma, a University student and studio artist. The movie narrates their lives together spanning a course of about 5 years (I assume), through which they experience jealousy, conflict of interest, as well as the pressures of being a lesbian couple and the social injustices that go with it (breath). SPOILER ALERT: In the end, their relationship comes to a close when Adèle feels neglected by Emma, forcing her into the arms of a male co-worker. Although they re-unite years later, Emma cannot bring herself to ruin the life she's built for herself to be back with Adèle. Roll credits.

Blue is the Warmest Color was difficult to watch. Even more so, it's a little difficult to write about. I could speak about the LBGT agenda or the harsh and lonely journey of adolescence. What I would like to say about this movie was that I believed Adèle's relationship with Emma was the perfect example of a beautiful lie. Adèle is in a period of life where she is discovering more about who she is, what she wants to do, and pigeonholed by the pressures of her peers and parents - a journey I am all to familiar with. Being in a relationship with Emma was more of a testament to her need to be loved/rescued than it was her ability to give love. Her relationship with Emma is so one-sided that she neglects to tell her friends, lies to her parents, and eventually abandons everything about her previous life. I believe Adèle finally realizes her inability to be comfortable about who she is in two parts of the movie. The first towards the end when she sleeps with her co-worker on a regular bases and is caught by Emma - who then in turn throws her out of the apartment. Once again at the end of the movie when Emma denies her advances and opts for a relationship that is more stable. In the end, Adèle is forced by fate to deal with being alone. In a poetic way, she accepts that she is just as naive and lost as she was when she was a hopeless teenager, despite her years with Emma and her personal "growth". It was like the movie reverted back to the beginning.

This movie was a thought provoking, age-old tale told through the eyes of two lesbian lovers. I loved the production quality, commitment, themes, and the challenge. I will probably discover more about what impacted me when I watch the movie again. If you have seen the movie already, feel free to tell me what you thought of it. If you are interested in watching the movie, it is viewable now on Netflix.

Go watch.
Go love.
Dare to be challenged.

Cheers,
Kay

H is for Hiatus

Life. It's stupidly simple while hopelessly complicated all at the same time. Every once in a while I have these moments of lucidity, where everything crystalizes in a brief moment of clarity. When these moments happen I realize…I am a big, fat idiot.

Am I being too harsh on myself? Yes. I also don't want to negate the fact that I have neglected this blog and it's intended purpose. This page was meant for expression, experimentation, education, nouns. So why hasn't that happened? Why the delay? Why all of the rhetorical questions? Because, dear reader, that stupidly simple and hopelessly complicated thing called life happened. Life.

So, until I get my act together, I bring you another delicious recipe. Enjoy while I go fetal and contemplate the mysteries of life:

What You'll Need:

Goat Cheese (One patty equates to 40 C)

As much Mixed Greens as your greedy, little hear desires (2 Cups is about 70 Calories)

Sliced Beets (29.2 C)

1/4 Cup Trader Joe's Panko Breadcrumbs (16.2 C)

1/4 Egg Whites (31.6 C)

Sprinkle of Smokehouse Chopped Almonds (40 C)

3/4 Cup Coldwater Salad Shrimp (80 C)

2 Tbsp Trader Joe's Champaign Salad Dressing (150 C)

Serves: 1 Person

Total Calories: 382.7

Today, we'll start by thawing the baby shrimps. Since the Coldwater Salad Shrimp is already cooked, the fist thing to do is defrost it. You can do this by placing the shrimp in a colander and rinsing under warm water. Should take no longer than a minute. Place in a paper towel and rest while you make your Goat Cheese patties.

The Goat Cheese patties are messy to make but fun to eat! Be careful not to salivate all over your keyboard. Grab about a Tablespoon of goat cheese - you can buy a log of it at Trader Joe's. Form it into a patty and dip it first in egg whites. Next, dip it in the Panko Breadcrumbs (they should stick to the patty. If not then I cannot help you. You're smart, you figure it out). Place on the stomach of a well oiled, well toned man until golden brown on either side. If you are fresh out of Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling, a pan on the stove will do (albeit the process will not be nearly as fun). Set the stovetop to Medium. Keep a close eye on these patties; the Panko Breadcrumbs brown very fast.

Hey, girl. Need to grate some cheese? You can use my abs if you'd like.

But really, these goat cheese patties are the greatest thing to put on your salad. It's warm, gooey deliciousness and I don't want to eat cheese on a salad in any other form from now on.

Zomg stahp!

Go ahead and chop the beet (I'm a genius), put it in with the salad, toss in those almonds with the baby shrimp and drizzle on that Champaign dressing. Add the patty right on the top, do the hokey pokey, hey Macarena, and boom! You've got yourself a pretty tasty salad.

Eat, enjoy, verbs.

Cheers,

Kay

Something Clever

A dress, a dress.
Let me address this mess:
A mess that best tests my passion,
That fashions unrest in my chest,
That progresses my obsessive, depressive
Quest for a more aesthetic - and somewhat pathetic -
Desire for the perfect attire, I confess.

…but I digress.

In other news I went shopping. Finally.

For the first time in, in quite some time, I spent some time and money on myself. And. It. Felt. SO. GOOD.

I'll put an outfit together soon. I thought I would share this mile-stone of my exiting, penniless, life I call "adulthood".

In the mean time, enjoy this video…

And a photo of Prince George with his betrothed…

A match made in heaven, all at the ripe old age of 9 months.

To be honest, I'm doing anything to not cry over the Shark's Game 7 loss…I'm going to go fetal now…stupid LA Kings...

Cheers,

K

PS: Dresses are from Urban Outfitters, sales rack.

It's Okay, I Know How to Swim

So, I'm still working on getting the necessary ingredients for my Bare Minerals substitution. In the mean time, enjoy this Salmon Season Salad that goes great with sun-kissed skin and a tall glass of lemon water. Over the lips and past the gums, look out stomach….here we go!

Let's start with potatoes, and make 'em sweet.

For the Yams:

3 Sweet Potatoes, skinned (about 162 Calories)

2 Tbsp melted butter (200 C)

2 Tbsp Olive Oil (59.7 C)

A small amount Prime Rib Seasoning Mix (I know weird right? 60 C)

A sprinkle of Garam Masala (about 20 C)

For those who want to cook their own yams:

First, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. While that's warming up, peel and dice the potatoes into bite-sized quarters. Drizzle the butter, olive oil, seasoning (honestly you can use whatever seasoning you'd like), and Garam Masala onto your potatoes in a medium sized bowl. Place in the oven until nice and brownish on the outside; they should look a little crispy.

For us couch yams…did you see what I did there? Oh, whatever:

Get in your car, go to Trader Joe's and get the Maple Roaster Sweet Potatoes (1/2 Cup is 240.2 C)

Heat them up and that's what will go in your salad. Good for you. You just took lazy to a whole new level. I would be proud to call you "friend".

Now it's time to swim upstream…Okay I'm done

For the Fish:

1 fillet of Salmon (170 C)

1 Lemon (21 C)

1 Leek (54 C)

2 Tbsp of melted butter (200 C)

For those with a grill:

Fist, place the salmon filet onto a piece of tin foil - skin side down. Dice the leek, slice the lemon, mash 'em, boil 'em, stick 'em in a stew. But don't do that. Just the dicing and slicing part. I got a little carried away. Having fun yet? Well you've read this far haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU!? Okay I'm calm…

Place the slices of lemon - there should be about four total - as well as the diced leek on your salmon. Drizzle that buttery goodness and wrap up the salmon.

Get your grill to medium heat and put the fleshy side down first for 4 minutes. Turn it over (onto the skin side, meow. Remember this is all while still wrapped in the foil) and leave it on for 4-5 minutes. It should be on the grill for 8 minutes total. Add salt and pepper as needed. If you don't have a grill, you can also use the oven!

Preheat the oven to 350. Let salmon bake for 20 minutes or until all the way cooked through.

It ain't over until I say it's over!

For the Tomato Vinaigrette:

1 Can of Trader Joe's Diced Tomatoes - it should include garlic and oregano (90 Calories)

1 Container of Chopper Cherry Tomatoes (100g = 29 C)

1-2 Tbsp Chopped Garlic (0-10 C)

1 Tsp of Red Pepper Flakes (24 C)

1/3 Cup Red Wine Vinegar (21.3 C)

1/2 Cup Olive Oil (about 950 C…yikes)

Salt and Pepper to taste

For those who are not lazy:

Fist drain the can of Trader Joe's Diced Tomatoes and pour into a bowl. Take a set of kitchen scissors and cut the chunks into smaller pieces. Add one container of chopped cherry tomatoes (don't forget to wash them!). Mix in the chopped garlic, red pepper flakes, red wine vinegar, and olive oil. Add salt and pepper as needed.

For those who say, "Well f*ck that.":

Trader Joe's, jarred Tomato Bruschetta is just as good. 1 Cup is about 66 Calories.

Put it all together:

1/4 of the salmon you just cooked (about 111.25 Calories)

1/4 of the sweet potatoes, cooked (125.43 C)

1 good scoop of the Tomato Vinaigrette (33 C)

1/4 Cup Shredded Parmesan Cheese, Kraft (110 C)

2 Tbsp Light Champagne Vinaigrette, Trader Joe's (50 C)

3 Cups Half Spring Mix & Half Baby Spinach, Earthbound Farm Organic (30 C)

Serves: 1

Total Calories: 459.68 Calories

Put your greens in a small serving bowl and leave to the side. Heat up your salmon and potatoes - if cold - for about 1 minute in the microwave and place them on top of the salad. Sprinkle the parmesan on top and watch it melt (it's like watching paint dry, but instead you're salivating). Add the Tomato Vinaigrette or the Bruschetta and finish it with the Light Champagne dressing.

I don't know if you're ready for this….

…Boom

Honestly, I wish I could go back in time and re-eat this. I'm not kidding. This was amazing. It was more amazing because I go to enjoy it in my beautiful backyard!

This salad could have been 100,000,000 Calories and I would have still eaten it and gone back for seconds. Happy Spring, everyone!

But before you go...

Oh, yeah. That's it. Work it, baby.

Cheers,

K

PS:
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When Life Give You Lemons, Make a Face Mask

Hormones can be a tricky thing. For women, hormones play a large part in our physical lives. They control our metabolism, skin, mood, and even eating habits. What's worse is that we are constantly berated with commercials for beauty products, ointments, creams, and pills to make us smoother, younger, skinnier, or less hairy. The choices can be overwhelming. As a professional woman - one who grew up with two brothers and in an Amish-like private school system - it took me FOR-EH-VER to figure out what worked for me; and it all comes down to those pesky hormones.

"But how," you may ask, "do you separate the garbage from what actually works?" Good question reader. Gosh you're smart. Is that a new hair cut? It suits you. But I digress. Let's talk about my skin. My acne has always been an issue. I've used Proactive, antibiotics, birth control, Finacea, Differin, Clindamycin and even Spironolactone; a medication supposedly used for diabetics! Ridiculous I know. I was tempted many times to try Accutane, but I also didn't want to invest in doctor visits and the threat of sever depression. Nothing seemed to work and I was constantly self-conscious around even my family members. Without anywhere else to turn, I got wind of the idea of trying a facialist.

Click here to visit the website of my old facialist. She's Russian and sassy and wonderful. You'll love her I promise :)

Time for a quick plug. My sister's boyfriend had been going to Valeria Skin Care and Spa; if you live in the East Bay Area, CA you'll be in for a treat. Even though her services didn't quite work for him, I decided to give her a try (on my parent's dime of course). I figured since he and I had very different types of acne, she may be exactly what I was looking for. After visits with her over the course of several months, the results were astronomical. Even after 2 weeks, I could see reductions in scaring and incredible control over blemishes. SHE WAS A VOODOO WOMAN I SWEAR! But alas, my parents decided to switch to a health care provider under our coverage since her fees were starting to add up. I was back onto benzoyl peroxides and salicylic acids. What this time did help me realize about my skin was this: my body craves natural products. 

Recently, I've been largely experimenting with online advice on home remedies to treat my skin. To my surprise, they've shown more results for me than any other high-priced item I could get over the counter or from my doctor. (NOTE: Using home remedies doesn't mean you stop consulting a dermatologist. They are highly trained professionals that actually know what they're talking about. Use them as a guide. Work as a team to find out what works for you.) Here's a remedy that I've been using that has reduced redness, scaring, and softened my complection!

What you'll need:

1/2 Tsp Cinnamon

1/2 Tsp Nutmeg

1 Tsp Honey

1 Slice of lemon (about 1 Tbsp of lemon juice)

Serves: 1 Face

Calories: Don't eat this. It's not for you to eat. Please, don't.

This is the face of regret...

…but not really because I LOVE this mask! These ingredients don't seem to be a likely combination for a facial cleanser, but their skin treating roots extend back centuries. Nutmeg has been a remedy for thousands of years as an anti-inflammatory. It's been known to heal many skin diseases like ringworm and eczema. Cinnamon is also in the category of ancient and affective dermatological ingredients. It's been used as an anti-fungal, astringent, and anti-viral. Combine with honey, an antiseptic, and lemon which can fade acne scars and age spots, to make yourself a quick and easy facial mask that does wonders for sensitive skin. I've been using this mask for about 2-weeks now with fantastic results. Obviously I'm still using face wash and night cleansers as a part of my consistent routine (it's important to be patient and stick to a routine. Switching around too often will throw off your body and could potentially damage your skin.)

Additional perks of this mask include:

• Smelling good
• Scaring your little brother
• Not being grossed out if it gets in your mouth;
• And taking hot bathroom selfies

I've got a million more remedies to try. Tune in next week for a cheap and affective replacement to Bare Minerals. I haven't tried it yet. If it works, then I'll post the results. If it doesn't work, then I'll post the results and you get to laugh at me. Everybody wins. Even me.

Cheers,
K

Date Me

I'm a genius. Or, at least the internet has made me a genius. Or, at least I made the internet better…I think. If you're reading this, you're about to make the best Bacon Wrapped Dates EVER! You're welcome.

What you'll need:

Trader Joe's 7 Medjool Dates (2 dates is the equivalent of 110 Calories) (385)
4 Slices of Applewood Smoked Bacon (2 strips is equivalent to 80 C) (160)
Trader Joe's Light Whipped Cream Cheese (2 Tbsp is 70 C)
Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds (42.5 C for 7 almonds)
Victorine Valley Farms Balsamic Vinegar (1 Tbsp is 15 C)
100% Pure Grade A Honey (1 Tbsp is 60 C)
Pure Cane Brown Sugar (1 Tbsp is 15 C)
Regular toothpicks
Serves: 7 (one per person) or 1 (7 per one me)
Calories: 747.5 Total (not too shabby…but seriously don't eat them all. They pack quite a sugary punch)

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Next, gather and prep the ingredients. This includes de-pitting the dates and slicing the bacon in half strips. Next, fill the dates with a small amount of cream cheese - depending on how large the pit is - and place in each one Smokehouse Almond. Put the two halves of the dates together and wrap each one individually with a half-slice of bacon. Secure together with a toothpick.

Place each Date on a baking sheet lined with tin foil (easier to clean up). Cook in the oven for 5 minutes and flip. Cook for an additional 5 minutes. Flip again and cook for 3 minutes. Flip one last time and cook for 3 minutes. Once the bacon has been partially cooked, set the oven to broil at 400 degrees. Drizzle a small amount of honey, Balsamic Vinegar, and a pinch of brown sugar on each Date. Cook for 2 minutes. Flip and repeat. Take the Dates out and let them cool on a separate plate for about 5 minutes.

Make sure to be a little frugal with the sugar and honey. If you don't want them to be as sweet, you can remove the Brown Sugar ingredient. Honestly, these were some of the best bacon wrapped dates I've ever had and I'm glad I had the chance this week to get more experimental in the kitchen. Now, I will be leaving to watch more of Bob's Burgers. Have a good cook!

Cheers,
K

My Name is Kaylyn, and I'm a Chocoholic

Hello and welcome to Chocoholics Anonymous. Today, after many trials and tribulations, I have finally found a lava cake recipe that WORKS! Emphasis on the "works".

What you'll need:

5 Tbsp of Butter

Just shy of 1/2 C dark chocolate (you can also use bittersweet chocolate)

2 Large Eggs

1 Large Egg Yolk

3 Tbsp Sugar

3 Tbsp Flour

2 Tsp CoCoa Powder

Pinch of Salt

Powdered Sugar as Needed

4, 5-oz Ramekins

Serves: Up to 4 people

Calories: Really? You're making lava cake. You don't need to know this information

Start by being on your period. No? Just broke up with someone? Maybe you didn't get that job you wanted? Maybe you went bathing suit shopping and looked at your naked body in the mirror for the first time since August? Well, we're all in the same boat. And, instinctually, you should craving something as rich and delicate as a chocolate cloud. A chocolate cloud that won't hurt your feelings; that rains sunshine and self confidence. I won't lie, I was mumbling my precious whilst making these lava cakes. 

….but I digress.

Start by heating the chocolate and butter together. You can do this in a double boiler. I prefer to set it in the microwave for about 25 seconds, take out, stir, and put it back in for an additional 30 seconds. Next, mix the eggs and sugar in a separate bowl. Whisk until the sugar has completely dissolved. This should take about 3 minutes. Combine the chocolate mixture to the egg mixture until fully integrated together in their chocolatey habitat of deliciousness. Sift the flour into the mix. Then add the sugar and cocoa powder. Blend together until you get a nice, thick - almost paste like - chocolaty batter. Once you've buttered the inside of your 5-oz ramekins, evenly distribute the batter and place in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes. Why? Because I said so.

While your ramekins are cooling, preheat the oven to 425 degrees. This next bit is important!!!! Previously I have overcooked and undercooked these bad boys. The secret time? 10 MINUTES! That's it. Not a minute sooner or later. Take them out and let sit for about 2 minutes after they've baked. When you've done all of that, carefully flip them over onto a plate and wiggle them out gently (if you've buttered them properly they should slide right out). Vualá! You have 4 delicious chocolate lava cakes for you and your friends. In my case it was Me, Myself, and I (and The Fellowship of the Ring). Decorate with powdered sugar and enjoy with raspberries and vanilla ice cream.

Get in my BELLAY!

I couldn't be more pleased with how these came out! They were moist and sturdy on the outside, while gooey and oozing on the inside. This recipe is something I've enjoyed trying to perfect. Hopefully you'll be able to enjoy it just the same. If this doesn't cure your evening, try watching this. Or why not both?

Cheers,

K

Eggscuse Me

I am a terrible blogger. I know this. One of the difficult things that I have run into as a wanna-be writer, is "material". Note to Self: I am not going to be writing for the Huffington Post or the next great American novel anytime soon. Learning how to write is like learning yoga; you won't be able to achieve the perfect crane without having fallen down a couple of times. And like yoga, it's a good practice to just sit and find your breath. That's what I'm going with this blog. Find my breath.

So this week I'm getting back to what really matters to me: food and counting calories. Hence, my favorite cheesy eggs.

What you'll need:

2 Farm Fresh Eggs (160 Calories)
1/3 Cup Fontina Cheese (507 C)
Whole Green Onion (5 C)
1/2 Avocado (161 C)
2 Tbsp Mild Pico De Gallo (10 C)
Serves: 1 Person
Total Calories: 507 (not too shabby)

Eggselent! Okay I'll leave...

Whip those eggs up with a splash of either water or fat free milk - this will keep the eggs from drying out (nobody likes gross dry scrambled eggs). Let sit on Medium heat for less than a minute and then start adding the green onion and fontina cheese sparingly. A trick that my grandma taught me was, using a spatula, push the egg into the center as it cooks. Honestly this doesn't make the egg taste any different. I just like doing it the way grandma does it. I'm a sentimental old fool.

Something I like to add is just a pinch of salt and Trader Joe's Everyday Seasoning. Serve with Pico De Gallo (thanks again Trader J!) and a half of an Avocado (some fat is good fat).

This isn't exactly ground breaking, but it does make for a nice easy breakfast. Takes you about 3 minutes to prep, 5 minutes to cook, and 2 seconds to inhale into your gullet hole. One thing that really makes good eggs though, is to take them off of the burner just before they are wholly cooked. The eggs will continue to sizzle and harden. Another ancient Chinese secret to keep them from being overcooked.

Finding my niche for this blog is a journey in itself. Maybe I'll try Pintrest concoctions. A più tardi!


Cheers,
K

When the Nuns Come Marching In

I have to say, it's enriching to find talent in the oddest of places. What talent oriented, reality TV has given us are opportunities for the most unlikely of people to show that they have true gifts. That's why, every week, I turn my attention to The Voice, X Factor and American Idol. Humble people from around the world finally get their chance. Of course, the producers have the ultimate say in who advances, but I'd like to believe that those who truly deserve to be in the spotlight at least get - if anything - one exciting moment.

These individuals have created this alternate industry exploiting (for lack of better words) these stories of rags to riches. If you've been paying attention to entertainment recently, the story of opera singer and Britain's Got Talent winner, Paul Potts, will be portrayed on the big screen by the talented and Tony Award Winner, Jason Corden. Him and a slew of other reality TV contestants have wiggled their way into the hearts and viewers around the world; making their passion into their profession. This week, I was fortunate enough to be blown away by who other than a Sicilian Nun.

View the trailer here. PS: TEETH!

The Huffington post released an article about the Italian version of The Voice. The judges consist of Italian pop artists like J-Ax (who I didn't know existed until now). Christina, a 25 year-old nun, thought of a way to "evangelicalize"the christian faith using her vocal talents and entered into the competition. If anything was more surprising than her voice, it was her energy and charisma. So, stop what you're doing and WATCH THIS NOW!

She sang "No One" by GWEN FREAKIN' STEFANI!!!

All four judges spun around only to be shocked by this small, homely woman belting in front of them. When she finished the song, they spent the remaining two and-a-half minutes making their case of why they should pick them to be their talent coach. What stood out to me was her quick whit, sterling personality, and absolute love for the music. She was more interested in her ability to give to the world than to get something out of it. A wonderfully humble woman.

They CANNOT handle this right now

I will be rooting for Christina for the remainder of the competition. I wish her the best of luck in her oncoming adventure. With the support of her family, friends and sisters, I can see her doing great things. Rock on, Sister Christina! God Bless!

Cheers,
K

Easy, Peasy, take me to Seavey

Close your eyes (except don't really 'cause you need to read this still). Picture yourself down a crisp, winding road. Your windows are down, the sun gently kisses the dew soaked grape vines, and the air is sweet like the first signs of Spring. You steer down a separate path, taking you further and further into the rolling hills of the Silverado Trail in Napa. As you go deeper into the valley, the natural light is blocked by the tall trees; a variation of oak and redwoods pass you by. Just as the faint idea of being lost crosses your mind, in front of you appears a winery comfortably tucked away on the mountainside. Is this heaven? Is this the Secret Garden? No. It's Seavey Winery and it is a totally real and totally amazing hidden gem of the booming wine industry of Northern California.

Since Seavey is a family and privately owned estate, the history is rather short and to the point. In 1979 married couple, William and Marry Seavey, purchased the grounds from a Franco-Swiss farming company established in 1880. Since it's humble beginnings, Seavey has dedicated it's existence to perfecting it's series of red wines.

Now, survived by their daughter Dorie, Seavey continues to practice and honor the integrity of the wine making process with the help of her co-worker Jim Duane. Together they operate the grounds, tend to the vines and experiment with new ways to store and ferment their wine. In addition to their winery, they operate on one of the first installed solar systems in Napa Valley that eliminates 24,000 pounds of carbon emissions annually.

They also raise a small number of cattle with the primary function of fire prevention by keeping the grass down in the hills as well as provide a welcoming source of organic beef for family and friends.

It wasn't until 1989 that the Seavey's decided to renovate the 1881 stone dairy barn as their winery and tasting room. In 1990 they made their inaugural vintages of Cabernet Sauvignon and Chardonnay with the Seavey Vineyard label; Merlot was added in 1994 and their second Cabernet, Caravina, in 1999. Their early vintages saw great success, enough for them to expand production into the construction of their second winery in the year 2000.

Here's Jim Duane, graduate of Biology and Chemistry from Gonzaga University. Former Stag's Leap winemaker.

Honestly, sometimes photos just don't do places like this justice

For our tasting, we tried the 2010 Merlot, 2008 Caravina, the 2010 Caravina and the 2010 Cabernet. Although the Caravina's had a lot to offer, the 2010 Merlot was striking for lack of better words. Seavey Winery has the advantage of both wind and sun, fully brining forth the potential of the grape. Similar to Storybook, they have the ability to be much more temperature controlled and the advantage of French Oak barreling process.
The year was good with a flavor booth fruity and robust.

It's one thing to enjoy a wonderfully handcrafted wine, but it's a whole other experience when you are treated with the kindness and hospitality that I encountered while at Seavey Winery. We didn't just take a tour, but were offered samples from Jim of their latest blend about to be barreled. Dorie didn't try to sell us on anything, but sat and enjoyed our company, swapping stories of our lives. My mom and I felt truly welcome, especially by their two adorable dogs: Scooter and Liefe. By the end of our visit, Dorie said the tour and tasting was "on her". We bought a bottle (can you guess which), said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch.

If anything, please take the time to visit Seavey Winery on your next Napa tour. The folks are friendly, the environment is stunning, and the tasting flawless. Easily my new favorite place to visit.

And with that, my 3-part winery series is over. This does not mean that I won't be reviewing more wineries. For now, I will enjoy the bottles I have with my lovely mama. Any Napa Valley suggestions? Feel free to comment and share. Thanks, lovelies.


Cheers,
K